How to Navigate Through the Teenage Waters

 It is no surprise that the teenage years are challenging. As parents we try to recall what it was like to walk the halls of a high school, deal with peer groups of “mean girls” and “tough guys”, all while experiencing mood swings that even the most seasoned Zen Master finds difficult to deal with.

Placing ourselves in the shoes of another on a day to day basis is the key to empathy and understanding, right?

So what happens when all the whimsical quotes and words of wisdom don’t work? What do you do when your child treats you disrespectfully? It is easy as a parent to respond in anger.   Anger is an emotion that we all experience and we are all entitled to, but what we do with our anger can make or break a situation.

According to Kate Cohen-Posey, a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Marriage and Family Therapist we can follow a few techniques that may seem awkward at first, but will eventually become automatic with practice.

First when we encounter differences of opinion, do not try to demonstrate your point by changing someone else’s mind. Instead point out the process and say “I disagree ” and then you can explain why you do. As a parent this can prove to be a powerful teaching moment. Clearly state what the conflict is. Staying focused on the issue and avoiding blame will help facilitate a healthy difference of opinion and generate respect.

Finally set limits. Teenagers thrive in a structured environment. This is created by showing consistency, love and understanding.

Never underestimate the power of communication. Learning how to get your teen to listen to you in any situation is the objective, but you just want to make sure that the message that they are hearing is the appropriate one.